19/06/2016

5 Things I Would Tell My 15 Year Old Self.




When I was fifteen I can distinctly remember being very sure of what I wanted in life. Or at least what I thought I wanted. Back in 2012 I was convinced after leaving school (which in itself felt so far away) I'd become a YA book publisher and most likely marry my year 11 crush who I deemed the love of my life. Oh how very, very wrong I was. I currently sit here, aged 19 on an unplanned gap year, waiting to go to university to study marketing so I can get a job in the advertising industry - specifically in beauty - and completely, utterly single. Which is, to be honest the way I like it. I'm incredibly picky about relationships and right now I don't know a single person who I'd even consider a viable option. So much in my life has changed and honestly when I think about what my 15 year old self would have thought upon meeting me... well, we're quite different people and I'm not entirely sure we'd get along. So for today's post, I wanted to share 5 things I would have told myself, looking back at being 15.

1 - That Boy You Like... Yeah, He's Not Worth It.

From about the age of fourteen up until maybe sixteen or seventeen I had a serious crush on this boy. I mean, even now I can say that it's still the most serious I've ever felt about anyone and yet I didn't tell him the extent of my feelings. Why? Probably because I was scared, putting my heart on the line still is something I have problems with and to be honest I just preferred keeping it to myself. But of course this had consequences as it meant he unintentionally ended up breaking my heart. Throughout the time I liked him I was convinced we would eventually end up together - and I wasn't the only one. My friends thought it, his friends thought it... and yet, it didn't happen. In fact it swung the other way and literally as soon as I stopped liking him, he spend a good percentage of his time trying to convince me to go on dates with him, and no matter how many times I said no, he was persistent. (Not gonna lie I was stubborn and I think he's finally given up now... almost.) So 2012 Lily, I'm going to tell you that I know how you feel, and I know it's not easy but seriously, he's not worth it. There will come a time when he begs you to go out with him, and guess what?! You're not interested. So stop wasting your time with him, and go out and have some fun. But *spoiler alert* he will be your first kiss and yes you will almost pass out, so just a heads up. ;) 



2 - You're Not Actually That Stupid...

When you turn sixteen (yep, actually on your birthday...) you will try GCSEs for the first time and guess what?! They don't actually go as averagely as you thought they would. You've spend your entire life being told you're mediocre when actually you're quite clever and those A*s, As and Bs are just proof that when you put your mind to something, you can achieve it. So please, please, try and believe in yourself more, because your self doubt is something that will stay with you forever unless you try and turn it around now. 

I think this one is so important for everyone. We live in a society where it's not acceptable to be proud of your own abilities and we constantly put ourselves down in fear of sounding 'arrogant' or obnoxious. But guess what? Putting yourself down will only increase those negative thoughts about not being good enough and it's just not healthy. Be proud of what you've achieved, be it exam results, drama roles, or just blogging stats. You can accomplish whatever you want, you just need to work for it. 



3 - Don't Worry So Much About Being "Popular"...

This is a big one for me. When I was at school I was never, ever in the popular crowd. Because let's face it, I'm incredibly socially awkward, love nothing more than being inside with a good book and the thought of wild parties makes me want to heave. So no. It just wasn't for me. And yet, I used to worry so much about what those kids thought of me, why I wasn't good enough and frankly, looking back, who cares?! As soon as you leave school those walls break apart and social hierarchies become less about making the 1st team at netball and more about where you fit in. I look back and I see wasted opportunities that my anxiety to fit in and avoid people as much as possible stopped me from fulfilling. (Like that time my school had a trip to New York planned that I didn't go on because none of my friends were... Like WTF Lily?! You've always wanted to go to NYC!) 

So what advice would I give my younger self? Well, you're a giant nerd, who also loves dabbling with fashion and beauty. You don't really fit in anywhere, but that's okay. One day, you'll discover blogging and you'll get to vent all of those pent up thoughts and feelings out on the world, and guess what? You might even find somewhere you belong. 



4 - Don't Be Afraid To Pursue Your Passions...

You discovered the world of YouTube back in 2010 and yet it took you five years before you start your blog. The fear of 'what people will think' is definitely something that will stay with you but you have to push through it because I promise that the happiness it will bring overrides the initial embarrassment of telling your family why you want to photograph lipstick on the dining room table. And the same goes for writing: keep doing it, enjoy that brief love affair with Wattpad before it starts to stress you out but remember keeping writing your book! It will be worth it in the end I'm sure. I hope. 

I think this goes out to everyone. Be unashamed of who you are. Never try and change to fit in, or stop doing something you love because it's 'uncool'. You have one life, and if you end up doing a deadbeat job because you quit your daydream, you'll never ever know what could have been possible. You might fail... But then again, you might not! 



5 - Your Eyebrows Are Shit.

Seriously, sort it out, I can't even look at photos from 2012. SMH. One day you will find eyebrow pencil and it will be a glorious day, but until then... Maybe it's best you just don't leave the house? Okay, yeah cool. 


Okay, thanks for reading! This was kind of a serious post, kind of a joke, but honestly if I could meet my 15 year old self I would tell her some home truths! Let me know in the comments, what advice you would give to your younger self, or if you have any major regrets - #2012EyebrowApocalypse - and I will see you all in a couple of days!

 
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6 comments

  1. I LOVED this post so much, don't worry my eyebrows were horrendous in 2012, literally I used to pencil them on and they were like slugs, like horrendous slugs criiiinge hahaha - I completely agree though with the 'being popular' thing, I was never in the popular crowd, never was never will be but in the year I've left school its literally like being popular means shit all! I'm happier now then I've ever been because I've stopped caring what people think, I would cringe to absolute death what people thought about me on a daily basis but now I really could not give a crap, I'm slowly not giving a crap if people I know find my blog, of course thats always going to be a big thing but blogging makes me happy and to be honest others are too busy living their lives to think about yours! - god, sorry I've clogged up your comments with a long rant hahhaa like I said though LOVED this post!! xxx

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    1. Don't apologise! Long comments are the best! <3 Okay I'm so glad I wasn't the only one with appalling eyebrows hahaha like mine were the opposite of yours, I just left them to their own devices and oddly enough my brows are so much lighter and sparser than my hair colour, so I just ended up looking like I had no eyebrows... It was not a good look! Yeah tbh since leaving school I care so much less about irrelevant people's opinions and am trying to focus on what makes me happy, which is of course blogging! And thank you so much, I wasn't sure if this was a good idea or not to post! HAHA xxx

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  2. Aw I loved this post! I would probably tell my 15 year old self the same things to be honest!! Ps: I bet you me eyebrows weren't that bad Xx


    http://thriftyvintagefashion.blogspot.co.uk/2016/06/am-i-normal-yet.html

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    1. I think as teenagers, we're all just trying to fit into societies cardboard cut out of what we think we should be / what we think we should like. And in reality, everyone is different and enjoys / dislikes different things. So really, we just need to let younger people know that it's okay not to fit into societies ideals and to be their own person, however hard that may feel at the time. Thanks for commenting! xx

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  3. Number 4! So important! If I hadn't made the decision to follow my passion a year ago my blog wouldn't exist now & I'd still be sitting around, not really doing anything with my life besides going to school & wondering what being a blogger would feel like. Sometimes just the thought that I went for it even though I was afraid of what people might think of it puts the biggest smile on my face :) Also I can totally relate to the feeling of not really fitting in for the exact same reasons as you. I'm just quite different to most people my age I guess but I'm fine with that now x

    Sara / AboutLittleThiings

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    1. Yesss! It took me so long to start my blog because I was terrified of not being good enough and frankly I didn't even know where to start. But I can't even express how glad I am to have braved it, because it means so much to me now, I can't imagine my life without blogging!

      Yeah, at school I never really fitted in anywhere, like not the popular kids (lol definitely not them!) or the sporty ones, I wasn't confident enough to be in the drama clan, wasn't really musical and was too girly for the nerdy group even though I would consider myself a massive nerd! But since starting blogging I've met so many lovely people and hope to continue to do so xx

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