26/06/2017

A Little Life Update & Why I'm Changing.



I'm not really sure how to start this post, which in itself is such a cliche, but I needed to write this. I guess I should explain myself first and foremost because recently I've been finding myself dragged down with blogging, the feeling that it wasn't my passion anymore, constantly niggling at the back of my mind. When I first started lilyolivia, I was 18, I'd just finished school and I was lost. I didn't know who I was, what I enjoyed, or who I wanted to be because I'd spent 90% of my life hiding behind the opinions of others for fear of being rejected. I wasn't popular in school, I never had any proper relationships and my friendships were fairly watered down versions of what they should have been. So when I created my corner of the internet it was like finally being able to breathe after holding my breath for so many years. And that may seem a tad dramatic but for a girl who'd never expressed one authentic opinion in her life, it was a pretty huge deal.  

And then I left school with the intention of going to university in the September. If you've been here since the olden days you'll know that all fell through and I ended up taking a gap year. Yeah... gap year or worst year of my life to date... For me when I think of gap years, I think of excitement, travelling, wearing chiffon trousers and 'finding yourself' in a mud hut in Bali. But mine was about as far away from that as you can get. I worked 9-6 in retail five days a week, I became pretty much one of the most senior members of staff on the shop floor and I hated every second of it. I'd wake up in the mornings with this sinking feeling in my gut, knowing that I'd sit in the same traffic jam, get treated like shit by the same customers, eat my cheese sandwich and Kettle Chips and come home again. I also lost the few friendships I actually had. I rarely talked to anyone and had no social life to speak of. The only thing that kept me going was my blog. My real life was about as unglamorous as you could get but the only upside was because I was working full time but still living at home, I had money, so I could buy that latest Chanel mascara or those Burberry sunglasses. And through all of that my blog became this sparkly, glittery place where people enjoyed what I had to say and for the first time ever I felt validated. 

But then I went to university and suddenly I had real friends for the first time. People I could say pretty much whatever I wanted to and they wouldn't judge me. People who had my back and made me cry with laughter. And I don't know if they know how grateful I am for their existence because it's changed my life so many times over.  



So I stopped blogging. I took an extended break because I didn't need it anymore. It was my form of therapy for the days when I didn't feel like I had anything going for me so when my real life became exciting and interesting again, I didn't need to pour so much of myself into the internet. 

However after a while, I found myself missing blogging, I missed the friends I'd made through it (Lisa, obviously I'm looking at you!!) and I missed the way it felt to have your life documented, to be able to look back at memories. So I decided to relaunch lilyolivia, and I did, with a new, beautiful Pigdig theme and visually attractive content. But something felt off, like I'd lost my voice somehow. The words were mine but I wasn't writing about things that made me passionate anymore. Beauty and fashion will always have a place in my heart but maybe that's not what I want the soul focus of my blog to be anymore. So I had a think, I told my mum and she said that there was no point doing what everyone else was doing just for the sake of it, find your own inspiration, write about the things you're interested in and an audience will flow with it. So that's what I've decided to do.

Lilyolivia is two years old now, and I'm very close to hitting 1000 followers on Twitter. So I've decided to do a bit of a content overhaul that will allow me to talk more about certain things, less about others and hopefully all with the happiness it used to bring me. I want to write about friendships and relationships, dating and university, I want to do more life updates, treat this blog as more of a diary, documenting my thoughts and opinions on people, trends, life. I don't want to hide behind a smokescreen of internet perfection but it's not real and no one cares.  The blogs I enjoy reading most are personal, where you feel like the writer has a voice, a personality and isn't just relaying their fave mascara. This isn't me saying I'm going to stop fashion and beauty because I'm not, I just want to be a bit more personal, like we're all friends, having a cheeky coffee together, gossiping about our boyfriends. 

So yeah, that was today's post and it's probably come as a bit of a shock to a few of y'all! It's been something I've been mulling over a lot recently and I'm pretty glad it's finally been said.



Let me know what your favourite type of blog to read is and if you'll carry on reading mine despite the changes I want to make. Your comments mean the world to me xx

SHARE:

10 comments

  1. If anything, I think I would enjoy your blog even more seeing as you are making it more personal and relatable! Do what's good for you :D As they say, if you are doing a job you love, you never have to work a day in your life!

    Much love,

    Meg x | the-writeblog.blogspot.co.uk

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Aw thank you lovely I'm so glad! xx

      Delete
  2. Lily, I'm so excited for you and all the new things coming to your blog. I will be right here following along, girlie! I know how hard losing friends is and I'm so glad you were able to make blogger friends (i'm still working on that myself) who were able to bring some joy to your life.

    Keep being authentically you and I can't wait to read what else you share with us.
    Sending lots of love from freezing Nairobi today,
    Shenga | www.helloshenga.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ahh thanks! Blogger friends are the best xx

      Delete
  3. This is the most exciting, proud of you lovely xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

    ReplyDelete
  4. I love this post and I can definitely relate to your blogging starting point! I also believe that a blog should always reflect who we are and what we truly want to talk about, so definitely write about what you feel the most passionate about :)

    http://fannyanddailybeauty.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think so too, it's only natural for your blog to develop as you change as a person xx

      Delete
  5. I'm literally so excited you're back blogging, always makes me smile when you give me a little mention hahah! You know what, reading how you described last year literally is like parallel to my life atm, oh well it'll all be rosy very soon!! Great post so glad you have lovely friends around you, you deserve it xxx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Aw Lisa <3 It's so crap isn't it? But it definitely gets better and you're gonna have such a great time at uni! xxx

      Delete

Blogger Template Created by pipdig